Posted in Blonde Jokes, Hospital Jokes, Long Jokes. To get a tweetment. My favourite joke ever. The Gunny replied, “Well sir, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear.”, A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. A lady goes into labour and is rushed to the hospital She is in labour for hours and the birth is excruciating but eventually the baby comes out. “There there”, he said “only one eye left!”, A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned.
Do you know a good joke which isn't here.
Joke Permalink Tweet This Joke Click here for the answer You look a little pail! marriage. The doctor replies, "No, you were brought here yester-die", A nurse asks her what's wrong, and the pregnant woman screams, "Shouldn't! Medical Jokes - Read this joke and thousands of other funny jokes at Dumb.com.
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!" P : Indeed. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." The first kid leans over and asks, What are you in here for? "It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. This is Gasoline!"
Tina brought me to the hospital.
"I had to call the ambulance, didn't I?". An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. Please consult your doctor for personal advice. Good luck, mate. Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical". animal.
What about my son?" Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
The funniest hospital jokes only! ", Once he arrives, a nurse asks him for a urine sample. said her Grandpa. racist.
", She decides to take a DNA test. It runs in your jeans. Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital! The other replies, "Yes, but I made it look like an asthma attack." ", ... he says, "Doctor, was I brought here to die?" But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Toggle navigation. He then asked about the second problem. The doctor tried to put me at ease but to no avail.
Why didn't the melons get married?
(I work in a hospital, a patient told me this. Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me.
Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. Who stands in for him when he’s on leave? Me: "...How is she?" "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger". The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?" A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off.
"But I could be dead by then!" Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!"
You said: Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here. I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..." Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any appendicitis witze you can hear about hospital. Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have! Husband: "What's up?" dad. She will still live for many years! asks the disoriented priest. Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" I said "No problem" Why You Should Choose an Independent Doctor, How to Choose the Best Doctor that Fits You, An old female patient complains to her doctor. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean”
TEN MINUTES? ", and the husband is in the waiting room. ), After a silence that seemed to go on forever, she replied, "You have to stop this. The best hospital jokes. blonde. So I did an exhausted search (not really) for medical jokes and came up with the following 10 from the internet and what I’ve heard. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor. Wound required 19 stitches. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!”, “And is this your first child?” Questioned the doctor. “And how do you know that?” the Admiral asked. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. That will be $500." You've got your memory back.
Yes, but only if you aim it well enough. Take me to your weeder. The doctor tells her it is under the left breast. The husband enters the room. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. jewish. We’re just painting the corridor.”, Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news.
127. So the doctor examined him all over and finally discovered what was wrong... A distraught man ran into the doctor's office. I think I'm a kleptomaniac. I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment. It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?” Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor. Won't! The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?”
To his surprise the Gunnery Sergeant said, “Yes.
"Mom, please don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital." He replies: "She looks great! Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), The Scientist’s Prayer Book: Part 2 (Brain), The Scientist’s Prayer Book: Part 16 (Photosynthesis). We also have jokes about doctors, hospitals and other funny jokes categories, so make sure to check them as well. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. Hospital Jokes. "But what happened to your other ear?"
"Did I come here to die?"
so he gets the surgery Late in the night he regained consciousness. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. “What happened?” asked the doctor. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. That, my friends, is a positive attitude! Joke tags. We also have jokes about doctors, hospitals and other funny jokes categories, so make sure to check them as well. Find out how you can support this blog and get a shout out by clicking here. 21 jokes about hospitals. Can you please help me?
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily? by Janice Friedman | Oct 10, 2018. Me: "Oh, you get used to that...". asian. white people. lesbian. When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed our baby had pooped. On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. IT. Following is our collection of surgical humor and examinations one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. I had that done just after I was born and I couldnt walk for a year.. “OOPS!”, John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise." asian. said the Brit. T : Let me guess, you didn't do your homework because your father is still in the hospital. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John cut his leg off. mexican. The old lady depressed and wants to kill herself goes to the doctor and asks him "Where is the heart located?" She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! TEN MINUTES? The orderly said, "No, mate, we brought you here yesterday.". Best Jokes (12) Funniest Jokes (1) Good Jokes (10) Joke Of The Day (1) Death Humor (21) Death Jokes (14) Funeral Jokes (8) Heaven Jokes (3) Disses (28) Funny Comebacks (7) Funny Insults (15) Yo Mama Jokes (6) Doctor Humor (26) Doctor Jokes (16) Hospital Jokes (5) Medical Jokes (9) Nurse Jokes (2) Surgery Jokes … A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. P : he's a doctor. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. Step 1: The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids. So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic.Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. Wife's response: Did you here about the guy who lost his whole left side?
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