see also. Tosafot (Ketubot 7a d”h Vehilchita) says that in practice there is no concern about Shabbat desecration with regard to a Friday wedding, and Rif, Rosh, and Tur all concur (EH 64; Beit Yosef EH 64). See also the Sefer Eshkol (cited by Taharat Habayit p. 498) who suggests that the reason for dam betulim is because of a concern out of an excitement of the first biyah she might see blood like dam chimud. Rashi explains that Rav and Shmuel were discussing even a woman who didn’t have her period yet. This is quoted by the Rosh Niddah 10:1, Rashba (Torat Habayit 5b), and Maggid Mishna 10:7. She performs a hefsek taharah, counts seven blood-free days, and immerses in the mikveh. umistabra), and Raavad (Isurei Biyah 5:24) agree and explain that the halacha for all women is that only the first biyah is muter. Aruch Hashulchan 26:14 states that if a wedding is performed on those days, it is valid. It is permissible to get married on Chanuka. See the Sidrei Tahara 193:3 who deals with this at length but isn’t satisfied by any answer. Secondly, if there was no pain it is likely that the hymen didn't break. Therefore, every bride, even if she is already past menopause, must count seven blood-free days and immerse in the mikveh prior to her wedding. Shulchan Aruch YD 179:2 and Rama EH 64:3 mention that the practice was to get married during the first half of the month. [1]. The Jeanie Schottenstein Center One does not have to be careful to get married at the beginning of the month. According to other opinions, she may immerse up to four days before the wedding and need not do any more bedikot before the wedding. Rabbi Yosef Dov Soloveitchik felt that weddings should not be held on fast days (Nefesh HaRav, p. 196). The Rosh Niddah 10:1, Rashba (Torat Habayit 5a), Ran (Shevuot 4b s.v. This is the approved revision of this page, as well as being the most recent. This practice can help reduce the stress when doing them for real. This is the approved revision of this page, as well as being the most recent. The Sidrei Tahara 193:3 discusses how far is included in haarah. Rosh Niddah 10:2 citing the Raavad in explaining Rav Hai Goan, Shulchan Aruch 193:1. See the Rosh (Niddah 10:1) who writes that the reason for the stringency isn’t because of a concern of dam niddah because we could have attributed it to a wound. All health and health-related information contained within Nishmat's Women's Health & Halacha Web site is intended to be general in nature and should not be used as a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Similarly, a previously married woman who has experienced no bleeding since her last immersion must also count seven blood-free days and immerse due to this decree. This is the approved revision of this page, as well as being the most recent. There was once a terrible practice for the couple to delay a few days after the wedding to have their first biyah, this is forbidden for several reasons. If the couple didn’t complete the biyah and she didn’t find any blood, they must consult a rabbi. Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice. However, the Bet Yosef 193:1 explains that the Rambam and Rif understood Rav and Shmuel as only referring to a woman who already saw her period, whether she was a naarah or a bogeret. If there was blood after the first biyah, even if it was incomplete, and she was tameh, then after the second biyah if there's no blood she's tahora. It is permissible to get married during the month of Cheshvan. Badei Hashulchan 193:18 explained the Rama that if he only does haarah it is possible that didn't break the hymen depending on how he went in, but once he does a complete biyah it is very unlikely that he wouldn't break the hymen. When I graduated high school, I went to seminary just like everyone else. I was your regular out-of-town Bais Yaakov girl. Many kallot have concerns like yours. These bedikot should be done carefully and need not penetrate as deeply as those after marriage. Additionally, the Rav Hai Goan (Shaarei Teshuva 168) writes that the dam betulim causes dam niddah to come out as well. In fact, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach’s wedding took place on Friday of Purim Meshulash, 5690 (1930) so as not to conflict with the yeshivah learning schedule (Rabbi Hanoch Teller, And from Jerusalem His Word: Stories and Insights of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l pg. Lastly, the mishna concludes, if she already had her period she is only tahor one night. Rav Moshe Feinstein OC 168 says it’s asur to get married during the day of the fast, but one can get married the night before. Advice for actual medical practice should be obtained from a licensed health care professional. Since you don’t believe that the time of the month you get married actually indicates anything for the future, you are not in violation of nichush. https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=The_Night_of_the_Wedding&oldid=24054. Further, if the couple continues to delay intercourse, there is a higher likelihood of the kallah’s becoming niddah before they have had relations. He concludes it is between 15 seconds and 3 minutes. ↑ Chida in Birkei Yosef 22:9 and Shaar Yosef 3. Moed Kattan 8b says אין מערבין שמחה בשמחה. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 410 writes that he isn’t concerned for the Sidrei Tahara that she had a hargasha and missed it. The Rosh Niddah 10:1 and Ran (Shevuot 4b s.v. My tevilah night falls out this Thursday. Mazal tov on your upcoming wedding! Incidentally, Rav Schachter himself got married in the second half of the month of Cheshvan. Although some say that one should not get married on a Sunday, common practice is to be lenient. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 509, Aruch Hashulchan 193:11, Badei Hashulchan 193. Rav Ashi in Gemara Niddah 65b explains that the rabbis permitted him to complete his biyah the first time otherwise there is a concern that he will be afraid of getting involved altogether. As the wedding approaches, the bride puts these laws into practice. Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:3) writes that although some acharonim (see Shu”t Lev Chaim 2:26) mention that you shouldn’t get married during this month as the name Marcheshvan comes from the word Mar, or bitter, one need not worry about that. Since this bleeding may be so slight that it goes unnoticed, the rabbis decreed that such a woman is considered niddah even if she is unaware of any bleeding. After the first biyah if a woman sees blood, even if it is hymenal blood, the halacha considers her to be tameh like every other niddah as a concern for regular niddah niddah. To ensure that you view the pages accurately, ask the filtering service to whitelist all pages under yoatzot.org. Rav Betzalel Stern (Shu”t Bitzel Hachochma 2:60) writes that the name for the month has nothing to do with the word for bitter and, therefore, agrees that we need not be concerned. Two halachic principles must be considered when planning the mikveh immersion prior to a wedding. Nitei Gavriel 48:37, HaNisuin Kihlichatam 5:17. Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:8). Most rabbis are concerned about the practice of delaying relations, since it places the husband in a situation where hotza’at zera levatalah is likely. Rama is lenient if there’s no blood and they only did haarah, which certainly includes the insertion of the crown. Just like everyone else, or so I thought. Although this isn’t mentioned in the gemara, it is discussed in earlier rishonim (see Shu”t Ramban 283). A woman who accepts a proposal of marriage is considered susceptible to bleeding from anticipation of the upcoming wedding (dam chimud). Shulchan Aruch 64:3 quotes that some say that you cannot get married on Friday or Sunday because you may come to chilul Shabbat. If they are both unsure if they had a complete biyah and they didn't find blood if she didn't feel pain she is tahora. Even though the Hagahot Maimoniyot 11:1 quotes the Raavad as being lenient if she doesn’t find any blood, he also cites Rashi, Roke’ach, and Ramban as being strict. The halacha is that every virgin whether or not she is bat mitzvah and whether or not she had her period yet, after the first biyah she is a niddah. The Badei Hashulchan 193:20 cites the Cheker Halacha who says that if they didn't have a complete biyah she needs to do a bedika in order to be tahora. Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:5). I participated in choir, drama, chesed programs, and more. On the other hand, some couples do feel uncomfortable with the idea of […] Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 is lenient on a ketem on a colored sheet if it is found after the second biyah unless it is found immediately after the biyah in which case he is strict since there is a possibility that there was a hargasha. Furthermore, we're concerned that possibly the first time he didn't do a regular biyah and didn’t break the hymen, so if she sees blood she is tameh. A man shouldn't intentionally try to only accomplish a partial biyah so that she doesn't become forbidden to him. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 writes that finding a ketem on a sheet immediately after tashmish if she had biya sheniya. This page was last edited on 19 August 2019, at 03:28. It isn’t clear why the adult women have a stringency themselves and the blood isn’t attributed to blood from a wound. Badei Hashulchan also argues that perhaps she is tahora based on the Maharsha Ketubot 4a. He’s machmir for the Sidrei Tahara in combination of the Tzemech Tzedek who says that if she has pain it might be dam betulim. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz (. The hymen is also somewhat stretchable. Rather it is because we treat all women the same as a mature woman who already saw her period.
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